Day ????

4:34 PM
I've had a little collision with life.

It's taken the ugly form of Post Postpartum depression coupled with anxiety attacks. I assume many of you have had to struggle with this difficulty so you know when I say that it sucks. big time. I've never felt more scared, sad, hopeless and helpless all at the same time. I'm naturally a happy, glass is always half full, hopeful sort of a person so when I experience something so dark and so the opposite of my normal self, it is terrifying.

Luckily I have an amazing husband who has never left my side AND who has managed to keep our family in order and running. I'm grateful for modern medicine that was able to give me the somewhat instant relief that I prayed for. And I've realized I have so many people who are genuinely willing and happy to help me. Blessings do come in the midst of trials.

I've learned these 7 "S" words that are imparitive to me having a successful day:
*sweat (exercise)
*say prayers

To anyone who is going through a tough time, my heart goes out to you. I'm definitely not out of the woods yet but at least I've seen a ray of sunshine and glimmer of hope along the way. Soooo, obviously my Countdown to Christmas has taken a back seat but I would still like to post when I can and please keep sending me your Christmas Photo's. It's been so fun to see. (email me: Check out all of our entries so far!

Today's photo is of my little Snow Baby. It's a fitting picture for 2 reasons, First, she was born on the first snowfall of the season and second, it's super snowy outside today!

Here is the photo SOOC:
ISO 400, 50mm, f/2.0, 1/100th sec.

Crop to a square
apply the Lightroom preset "Black and White Creative - High Contrast"
decrease exposure to 0
decrease blacks to 14
decrease brightness to +33
use the exposure brush at +33 to lighten the eyes
apply the lightroon preset "Sharpening wide edges - faces"

I am keeping everyone posted on the Christmas Countdown and happenings via my NEWSLETTER, so if you still haven't signed up yet be sure to do it! (And as a bonus you also get my free articles teaching you more photo tips!) Look all the way up on the sidebar. ---------------------------->>>   

And if you're still looking for Christmas gifts, my photo products are still on sale!! Click here for more info or to purchase.


Kerri said...

I too an grateful for modern medicine! You are not alone!!

ThadRoller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thad, Nikki, Lily and Nelson! said...

You're definitely not alone! I had a lot of anxiety after my first (who is now 2) and had some depression. This too shall past. Praying for you!

Michelle B said...

I am so sorry to hear this. But good for you to recognize what is going on and taking care of yourself! I had what I would call the baby blues with all three of my babies. But it was more like moments or minutes where I would cry and then just be fine. I think it is the hormones leveling themselves back out. Having a baby is not easy! Please take care of yourself and know you are not alone.

Lexie & Jeff said...

Hugs to you! Glad to hear you are on your way back on track. I started meds for anxiety-related insomnia and am so grateful for they way they've helped me for so many reasons. Here's hoping each new day is better than the rest for you.

Offer KINDNESS. Choose GENEROSITY. Give LOVE! said...

you are not alone at all. i'm by your side.
stick to your 7.
one day at a time. take care of you and your beauties, your blog pals will be right here waiting!
A fellow PPA sufferer!

Sarah K. said...

Take good care of yourself and know that you are not alone!

Sharin Shank said...

Yes, endured this three times!! You are not alone! Take care of yourself and post when you can!! A new baby and are awesome for keeping us up with your blog with all you have going on anyways! We love you for that!! Praying for you and hoping you start feeling better soon. The power of prayer...yes...praying for you and thinking of you!!!

fifth house on the left | family blog said...

i'm so sorry you are going through this. although i have been lucky not to experience ppd or ppa, i have suffered from anxiety and it is no joke! i don't ever wish it upon anyone. i'm happy to hear you are getting the extra care you need for it :)

beautiful photo of your beautiful baby! i love watching your updates because our littles are the exact same age! :)

take care of yourself mamma!

georgia b. said...

i'm so sorry, katie. i read here sometimes, and am glad i did so today. i never experienced the depression as part of post-partum after my son was born, and he is now 1.5 yrs. old, so i guess i escaped that collision. but have gone through a dark depression a couple of times over the years, and i know exactly what you are talking about... that dark place that seems hopeless and does not make sense, because you know who you generally are, and it's not that person. i'll be praying for you as well... even though i don't know you, i empathize. and i pray this season will not last long for you. may you have a blessed christmas this season.


Becky said...

Thanks so much for your honesty!! Post pardom depression is SO tough and needs to become less of a taboo! I'm so happy that you got some help. Prayers to you and anyone struggling with this!

Maz said...

Thanks for sharing :)

Maggie McKenney said...

hang in there~ you are never alone & I find it truly amazing that you share what you are going thru. from one heart on sleeve girl to another. <3 it will bet much better soon. :)

Becki said...

Hang in there Katie, this too shall pass. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Chritmas and much health and happiness in the new year!

Max of Max California ★ said...

Oh honey! I wouldn't wish PND {as we call it here} on anyone! After I had my son, I went into very bad PND, and I was eventually put into the mental ward at the hospital. It was the must unfun time of my life and I missed my son so badly {he was 7 months at the time}. Luckily I had te support of my beautiful husband, my parents, and my mother in law. They looked after Vince for me when I was in hospital, they transitioned him from breastmilk to formula {I didn't want to breastfeed when I was on the crazy strong meds I was on}

Medication is really so helpful, and so is support and understanding from those close to you. As long as you have a good support network you really can beat this!

I'm not sure if I can say I am 'cured' now, but my son is 3 and I have a beautiful little 6 month old girl. I went off the meds to try and fall pregnant with her, and the combination of eating right, exercising and staying positive as much as I could really helped! PND hasn't reared its ugly head this time and I really think it's because we were all SO prepared for it!

Sometimes I have off days, but nowhere near as terrible as they used to be! I think as long as you have recognised you have a problem, that it isn't 'all in your head', that it is an illness but you CAN get better or learn to control it {somewhat} then you will be fine!

I wish you all the best lovely! It's a big step to admit it publicly, but it's easier because then people will be mindful for you :) Don't be scared of people thinking less of you, because then they are little people who don't deserve to be in your life!


Karen said...

It will pass and stay strong! My sister-in-law had it for about 8 months after the birth of her son but it will pass. Hormones are HELL! We are all here for you and you will pull through. Try to focus on the positive and you will be just fine. :-)

Powered by Blogger.